Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Not Safe--December 20, 2009


Woke up at 7:45.  This was not going to be good.  I was simply unbelievably tired.  And it never went away.

On the ride over to the airport, I just could never wake up.  I felt like crap.  Every part of the word.  My body was worthless.  Grr, I hate feeling like this.  Hate it, hate it, hate it.  And all for a girl!!!

And to add insult to injury, today was our longest flying day to date here in Florida!  I ended up flying 5.6 hours.  I kid you not, I was nothing short of stupid for flying this morning.  I honestly wasn't very safe in the airplane.  I wasn't sure if I was going to fall asleep or not!  I kept moving around, knocking on the window, throwing my arms in the air, forcing myself to focus on things inside, objects outside...constantly moving my eyes.  But I just wasn't sure.  I was so tired I felt unhealthy.  I debated whether to land or not.  But I had to work.  Arrogance.  Stupidity.  I recognized it.  Stubbornness.  Agh, this sucks.

But I plodded on.

I landed at noon for nothing more than coffee.  I ended up heading to Palm Beach Internatinal was quite busy!  So much so that I was almost asked to quit doing my flight lines today...because of the traffic!  Frankly, I didn't even need to be on radar, and I could squawk VFR if I wanted to.  But I chose not to...for their sake AND mine!  But the guy told me he would probably have to cancel me.  And then on the way in, the guy said "I can say with the utmost certainty that we won't let you continue this when you come back up.  We just can't deviate from our 'bread and butter.'"  ha!  I love when a Class C airport thinks they are "all that!"

Well, landing here turned out to be a bad idea, too.  My fueling took nothing short of 45 minutes...turns out they didn't fuel me even after I was asked TWICE on the ramp if I needed topped off.  I went to the lounge to indulge in endless supplies of coffee...and I treated myself to the free Signature cookies.  After 20 minutes, I headed back out to pay only to find out that they hadn't even started fueling.  I had to sign something first stating that's what I wanted!!!  The madness.

While there, though, I talked with a corporate pilot who was watching football.  He worked for NetJets...and they have been affected by this whole economic downturn as much as anyone.  I guess they are laying off 395 pilots.  Crazy.  He used to fly for the military...and then an was one of those small talk talks.  Pretty much convincing me AGAIN that I need to keep my job.  I really have it made.  I get paid to fly.  So many people just don't have that.  And frankly, I'm not talking about just "normal" people.  I'm talking about people who really, really want to get paid to fly.  Just not enough jobs for the desires.  Yes, I'll certainly keep it.

Went back up for a couple more hours.  The coffee did the trick...for an hour.  Then I hit another wall.  The last hour was painfully brutal.  I am worthless when I'm tired.  And I hate it, hate it, hate it.

A fun moment today, though.  I was doing a line in the arrival corridor for 28R, and I had a jet literally at my 12 o'clock at 5000 feet.  I was at 4500.  He was asked to descend down to 4000.  Perfect!  We were at 4 miles...he had his landing lights on, and I was just "pootin'" along.  Right on target!  So beautiful.  The rates close ridiculously fast head-on.  As he flew underneath me, I could read "Delta" on its side...only 500 feet below!!!  So fun.

I landed at 3:25.  What a long day.  I remember touching down and just being thankful that I had made it.  Bleh, not even smart.  What a yucky day.

Took an hour and a half nap.  And then I spent time with Sandy tonight!!!  Went over to her house and watched a movie with Sandy.  Another late night.  She has a pretty strong tug on me!!!

Went to bed at 2:30.

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